What the Blood Clot?

As your Philadelphia Flyers prepare for game 1 of their Eastern Conference quarterfinal match-up against the Penguins, last night defensemen Kimmo Timonen, the man who was going to be primarily responsible for keeping Sidney Crosby, was lost for the series.

In game 4 against the Canadiens, Timonen blocked a shot that deflect off his left ankle and after playing in severe pain in the game 5 clincher, Timonen had a MRI earlier in the week that did not reveal the clot. But after going to the hospital yesterday, a surgeon discovered the clot. BING BANG BOOM, out for the series.

DOESN’T IT FRICKIN’ FIGURE PHILADELPHIA?

Yes I am being Neg - adelphia right now. But why should we expect anything else? Every time we get close to the promised land, something out of the blue arises. Joe Carter, Marshall Faulk, Ronde Barber, Ricky Manning Jr, Bill Beli - cheat, going against a team on a 20 game win streak in the playoffs (Colorado Rockies), Shaq and Kobe. There always seems to be something and now this.

Our best defensemen is now out for the series and the Flyers must adjust on the fly. But still feel confident Flyers fans, Derian Hatcher’s new line mate will most likely Braydon Coburn, the two of them were paired earlier in the season and were very successful together. And now look for Coburn and Hatcher to share the responsibility of shutting down Ev-gay-ni Malkin, and Sydney Cunt-sby, and look for fine results. And if Marty Biron continues on the pace he has set all post-season, although YES this loss is a huge blow, it might not quite be fatal.

Prediction: Flyers in 7 gut-wrenching games.

ESPN Material, Ehh?

Ahh my first feature on ESPN. Matthew Berry’s reaction to his list of the top 340 fantasy baseball players.

Here’s the link to the full story, the section I am featured in is below:

phillyphan644 (ESPN Conversation): Matthew Berry should be fired for putting Ryan Howard at No. 9. He might not even be the ninth best hitter on his team.

TMR: Yup, I can’t see it now:

TMR: (walks into office, closes door) You, uh, wanted to see me, boss?
Boss Man: Matt, I’m sorry. We’re gonna have to let you go.
TMR: But … why?
Boss Man: Well, you ranked Ryan Howard ninth. Seems insane to me.
TMR: But last April, he hit .221 with three home runs and finished with 47 homers. In April 2006, he hit only five home runs, the lowest of any month that year, and finished with 58 jacks.
Boss Man: Don’t throw your crazy stats at me. We don’t need you anymore. We just found out we can get bkcox …

bkcox (ESPN Conversation): ESPN, where do you get these writers? Do they do any research before putting together an article, or is this what you are looking for? I am available to write.

hebajeba (ESPN Conversation): Hmm … Fukodome after Ankiel? Justin Upton after Hunter Pence? Scherzer ahead of Volquez? Hamilton behind Corey Hart? What the hell is going on with this list? I just lost complete faith in this guy. I clearly can write a better column than he can. ESPN, I am available?!?!

TMR: I still stick by my 40 homers for Ankiel, and I think pitchers will adjust to Fukodome, so his numbers will come down his second time around the league. Have you seen Upton’s numbers? Remember, he stole 19 bases in the minors last year, too. I went with Max in part because of the offense and bullpen behind him, and Hamilton doesn’t have the speed and power of Hart. He also is more of an injury risk. … Wait, are you or are you not available? You used an interabang (both a question mark and an exclamation point), so which is it? You are available and are excited about it? Or are you questioning me because you don’t know whether you are available and want me to tell you? This is important, ’cause we’re about to go slap a contract on bkcox.

My response: Berry - I was busting your balls for some moronic placing of certain players. I understand you were ranking on potential and you are always going to have haters when your putting together a large list, especially 340. Hey its ok, nobodys perfect buddy, especially you.

As far as my comment goes, I have nothing against you as a writer, I actually enjoy you a lot compared to some of your co-workers. I was most likely just pissed at work, tired, cranky, hungry, you get the idea, and decided to join in on the bashing in the comment section.

Now as for writers I REALLY DISLIKE on the ESPN payroll:

• Jemele Hill
  Jemele Hill is awful, has no insight, and is Jim Romes fill-in. Jim Rome is the worst, but to be the fill in for the worst, well that would make you .. worst-er? (is that a word).
• DJ Gallo
  Too easy. Read his work, you’ll quickly find out.
• Gene Wojcie - asdfjashdtjkrt - ski
  I don’t read much of his work but I just can’t stand his picture on the front page of ESPN every - single - f-ing - time I scroll down the page. Rotate that $hit or something, put Berry in there for craps sake.

“You Stay Classy, Sir Charles”

Sir Charles and his Ron Burgundy-esque Media Reporting.

Gilbert’s Demands

After barely playing during the regular season, making a half ass comeback for the Playoffs and not even dressing in the final two games of the first round series in which the Wizards lost to the Cavs, Gilbert Arenas has decided that was enough PT on the season to start making demands.

Gilbert stated in his blog, on his impending free agency:

I want to be back … but weird things happen in free agency. If Antawn is not back, then there’s no point in me coming back because he’s part of my success, too.

Considering ‘Twan Jamison was a huge reason, basically the only one, for the Wizards success this season given the fact that Caron and Gilby were out for 75% (give or take) of the year. If betting were legal, I would put my money on Washington resigning Antawn not for the fact that Gilbert demanded it, but the fact that he was the only reliable star they had all year.

Gilbert , get off the ‘net and back in the gym buddy.

Shane Victorino got … Co - ‘Jacked Up’

The Phils won another one last night on some timely hitting by Chase Utley, god he’s incredible.

The highlight of the night however came in the 8th inning courtesy of the Flyin’ Hawaiian and Co-Jack. Shane Victorino struck out swinging, but the ball got past D-Backs catcher Chris Snyder, and Shane took off for first , where his helmet met Conor Jackson’s face, and CoJack’s arm clotheslined Vic and sent the Hawaiian, well, you get the point.

This isn’t the greatest clip, but take a peak.

Apparently Shane does this in video games as well.

Ahhh the City of Brotherly Love

Police Beating Caught on Tape

Hey Ced, Get Your Game Up

If you are an avid sports fan you would obviously know about the little bit of legal trouble Cedric Benson has gotten himself into this past week. Media reports keep coming out daily as to the ‘way’ and ‘manner’ the Lake Travis police handled the situation.

The latest accord of the situation proclaims Cedric was treated completely unfair and with bias due to his skin color and Benson and crew are NOT happy.

HEY CED, shouldn’t you be at mini-camp working on your game. I mean you WERE one of the top 5 fantasy RB busts this past season as Chicago deemed you worthy of being a prime time back in the NFL. Combined with your awful QB and aging defense, your legal woes and media outbursts do not seem to helping with team chemistry.

If I were you I would be getting OFF the boat and spending some quality time learning how to hold onto a football considering you had nearly as many fumbles as TD’s last year. Any fantasy owner that was dumb enough to hold onto you in a keeper league must LOVE you right now.

Benson still maintains that he was completely sober. Take a look at this mugshot and you be the judge.

Melo’s Mishaps

Carmelo is in the news again and obviously not for his skills on the court. His name has once again graced the front of ESPN.com and god knows what other media outlets as he was arrested again, making it the second time in three weeks.

Melo was ticketed for speeding this time, just weeks after being cited and charged for driving under the influence. Police say Anthony was pulled over Saturday for driving 60 mph in a 45-mph zone.

At this rate, expect to see Melo’s name in the news in the coming weeks, most likely for another traffic violation.

Hey, at least he looks hard in his mugshot.

Samuel, Nooo

Before game 5 in Detroit last night, hometown native Bill Green wanted to stroll through the old block and show his neighborhood off to fellow teammate Samuel Slammin’ Dalembert. Somewhere along their day together, Bill offered Sammy a free fade at his favorite hometown barber shop. When asked about getting his fade “tightened up”, Samuel flat came out with it and declared, “Forget the fade! I want to get something crazy”.

Crazy doesn’t describe what Slammin’ walked out of the shop with on his dome piece. As the Sixers headed to the Palace at Auburn Hills for Game 5 last night of their Eastern Conference Quarterfinal match up with the Pistons, Sammie felt he had eased himself of the playoff pressures with this new Doo.

Wonder what it means? Well let’s dive into the scribe on the sides. On the left side spelled out is “LT”.

Have a guess what it means?

Please enlighten me, because I have no idea and neither does anyone else, including Sammie I bet. When asked what it meant Samuel declined to comment.

Althoughhhh, when asked if wanted to elaborate on the right half, where you will notice the letters “SD” carved out, one SD claimed the “SD” on the side of his head was simply not his initials, but in fact it stands for what his game is all about!

“Strong defense,” he said.

Really Samuel?

Dalembert’s primary focus, Rasheed Wallace, scored 19 points on 8-for-12 shooting, 11 in a first half in which the Pistons ran off to a 14-point lead.

Okay, so maybe it was all a ploy to throw off the Pistons, make them dumbfounded and wondering all night what the fuck would possess someone to go out in public looking like this? Didn’t work. ‘Sheed Wallace blocked four shots in the first quarter alone, all while fixated and rather amused. Dalembert reported post-game rather intellectually and deep; “He was talking to me all game,” saying, ‘What the hell?’ And those sort of things.”

Wallace said speaking after the game “I told Mo that should have been a team fine…Coming into a game looking like that.” At the very least Rasheed, at the very least.

And with all the tension gone, and Samuel at ease post-haircut, Dalembert ended up having a rather relaxing evening, scoring 4 points, pulling down 6 rebounds in 29 solid minutes. I guess now we all understand why he demands the ball more right? Even with the outstanding numbers you expect from a $9.8 million dollar center, the doo is staying according to Samuel, who has no plans to BIC his head, so look for “LT” and “Strong Defense” to be on the Wachovia Center floor Thursday as the Sixers make an early exit from the ’08 playoffs.

Sixers BLEW It

Series over.

Sorry Sixer fans, they had it within their grasp but eventually collapsed under the pressure.  It was a great run and a great season and we should feel super confident going into next year with our young and athletic squad but this years playoff run ends here.

The Pistons capitalized bigtime and took the wind out of our sails in the 3rd quarter of game 4 at the Wachovia Center.  Then and there with that 20 point turnaround (DET was down 10, to up 10) over a span of 5 minutes or so showed just how superior Detroit really is.

Detroit in 6.

Look out for the Hawks @ the Celtics tonight, huge game in that series.

And what was with Slammin’ Sammie Dalembert’s new doo.