ESPN Material, Ehh?

Ahh my first feature on ESPN. Matthew Berry’s reaction to his list of the top 340 fantasy baseball players.

Here’s the link to the full story, the section I am featured in is below:

phillyphan644 (ESPN Conversation): Matthew Berry should be fired for putting Ryan Howard at No. 9. He might not even be the ninth best hitter on his team.

TMR: Yup, I can’t see it now:

TMR: (walks into office, closes door) You, uh, wanted to see me, boss?
Boss Man: Matt, I’m sorry. We’re gonna have to let you go.
TMR: But … why?
Boss Man: Well, you ranked Ryan Howard ninth. Seems insane to me.
TMR: But last April, he hit .221 with three home runs and finished with 47 homers. In April 2006, he hit only five home runs, the lowest of any month that year, and finished with 58 jacks.
Boss Man: Don’t throw your crazy stats at me. We don’t need you anymore. We just found out we can get bkcox

bkcox (ESPN Conversation): ESPN, where do you get these writers? Do they do any research before putting together an article, or is this what you are looking for? I am available to write.

hebajeba (ESPN Conversation): Hmm … Fukodome after Ankiel? Justin Upton after Hunter Pence? Scherzer ahead of Volquez? Hamilton behind Corey Hart? What the hell is going on with this list? I just lost complete faith in this guy. I clearly can write a better column than he can. ESPN, I am available?!?!

TMR: I still stick by my 40 homers for Ankiel, and I think pitchers will adjust to Fukodome, so his numbers will come down his second time around the league. Have you seen Upton’s numbers? Remember, he stole 19 bases in the minors last year, too. I went with Max in part because of the offense and bullpen behind him, and Hamilton doesn’t have the speed and power of Hart. He also is more of an injury risk. … Wait, are you or are you not available? You used an interabang (both a question mark and an exclamation point), so which is it? You are available and are excited about it? Or are you questioning me because you don’t know whether you are available and want me to tell you? This is important, ’cause we’re about to go slap a contract on bkcox.

My response: Berry – I was busting your balls for some moronic placing of certain players. I understand you were ranking on potential and you are always going to have haters when your putting together a large list, especially 340. Hey its ok, nobodys perfect buddy, especially you.

As far as my comment goes, I have nothing against you as a writer, I actually enjoy you a lot compared to some of your co-workers. I was most likely just pissed at work, tired, cranky, hungry, you get the idea, and decided to join in on the bashing in the comment section.

Now as for writers I REALLY DISLIKE on the ESPN payroll:

  • Jemele Hill
    Jemele Hill is awful, has no insight, and is Jim Romes fill-in. Jim Rome is the worst, but to be the fill in for the worst, well that would make you .. worst-er? (is that a word).
  • DJ Gallo
    Too easy. Read his work, you’ll quickly find out.
  • Gene Wojcie – asdfjashdtjkrt – ski
    I don’t read much of his work but I just can’t stand his picture on the front page of ESPN every – single – f-ing – time I scroll down the page. Rotate that $hit or something, put Berry in there for craps sake.
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